Mental Illness - A Carers Life Can Be One of Turmoil

"My Life Is In Turmoil! How Am I Going To Cope?"

These were the first thoughts that crossed my mind when my son was admitted to a mental health ward for the first time 12 years ago. Let me give you a quick insight as to how I had come to these thoughts before I explain more about the first visit.

He had been displaying some very odd signs but we thought that maybe he had been taking some drugs and that was the result.

He had not slept for several days apparently (he was not living at home at the time) and I did not realise the severity of these signs until a couple of times within two days he went out in his car, left the car and did not know where it was. When we found it each time it was in the strangest of places.

Following this we took him to the hospital where he was diagnosed as having a mental illness and was kept in hospital for a week.

My Utter Horror

While waiting for my son to be assessed I was wandering around outside, partly dazed as I knew he was seeing mental health doctors, and I saw this big wire cage off one end of the ground floor ward. I thought to myself, "OMG, what on earth would that be for?" There were people wandering around in there and even the thought 'low risk criminals' crossed my mind.

After the consultation we were told that my son at the age of 24 was being admitted to the mental health ward and to my horror, guess what, the cage was the outside area of the mental health ward.

There Started The Roller Coaster Ride Of My Life

As you can imagine I have never cried so much in all my life as through that week. As a parent of a much loved son this was all too much to comprehend.

How many words can be used to describe life from then on?

What Can A Carer Expect To Experience On The First Hospitalization Of Their Child?

Carers of family members (and I include juvenile carers looking after parents) will never have the life again that they had before the illness took hold.

Juvenile carers develop emotionally well before their time and their emotions for the rest of their life I just cannot conceive, nor understand what they go through.

Parents of a child being committed to a mental facility experiences so many emotions that I wonder if they can ever get a grip on what those first times were like.

The list goes like this:

*shock
*numbness
*desire to understand
*horror at what they are told
*guilt*hopelessness
*isolation
*desperation
*protectiveness
*denial
*blame
*remorse
*fear
*anger
*aggression
*depression
*relief at finding out there is something wrong
*anxiety to get it fixed
*loneliness at who to talk to
*can't be true

So with a list like this you can understand that the health of the carer is going to be affected as the stress levels sky rocket. These emotions will cause reactions like: lack of sleep, change of eating habits, the shakes, feeling nauseous, exhaustion, headaches, short temper, overindulging in alcohol, smoking heavily, and other problems that are related to stress which could be diarrhoea or constipation.

Family Relationships

The affect on the whole family at a time like this is enormous. Some families pull together and other families fall apart as the stress causes blame and guilt that rips a family apart. Even the extended family can come in on the emotions and the result from that can also be hopelessly negative.

Fear And Lack Of Understanding

Family and friends who have not experienced mental illness in their own immediate family have no idea what a parent in this circumstance is going through. Other family members may be scared that it is genetic and could run in their family and friends can see the change in you and wonder what it is all about.

The purpose of this article is to let carers who experience these emotions know that it is quite normal and that there are many others who have been there too and there are support systems around the world which can help. Turn to these people who you might want to talk to only once or for weeks, but don't let isolation set in. Even if you cannot get out and meet these people for whatever reason there is the phone so use it and find someone to listen, but only talk to those that take a more positive position.

And most importantly take care of yourself.

Kaye Dennan is the author of an ebook 'Carer Coping Strategies'. Kaye has been a carer for 10 years and has been a Carers' Support group facilitator for 3 years. To read more about mental health carer's coping strategies or for more insight into mental health carer problems visit http://schizophrenia-carers.com/

View the original article here ezine.com